its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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