I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
