why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
