he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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