hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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