I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
