if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
