i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
