It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
