All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
