She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
