Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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