Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Help me help you realize you are a moron
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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