I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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