I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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