I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
