Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
