Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
