what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
