Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
