THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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