She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
