Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The convent might be a nice break from real life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
