im about as happy as oj after his trial
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Im part way to drunk.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
A+ Viking dick
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
