I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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