we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
