Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
