omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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