I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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