I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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