Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
