I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
