You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
