Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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