i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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