love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
