I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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