Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
