either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
