I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
