Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
