and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
