yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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