If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
