Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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