she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
