i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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