It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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