I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
love makes seman taste better
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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