All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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