.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
