dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Someone stole a lamp last night.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
