i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
