Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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