Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
No subtext here. People are naked.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
