i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
