i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Barsexuality is the new black.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
