Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
