Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
