just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize