I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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